But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
