i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
