I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
