i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
