I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
