She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
