You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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