Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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