just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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