just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I currently don't understand fingers.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
