i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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