And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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