some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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