So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Randomize
