I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
