Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
