I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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