look no pants
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
