I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
