google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
