if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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