i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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