Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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