It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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