Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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