You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
All I want is dick and wine.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
