bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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