it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
