Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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