Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
