I cockslap morals
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
