Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
