it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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