all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
