After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
