I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Randomize
