I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
