Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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