It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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