just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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