Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
