he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize