margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
