Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
