I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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