remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
