no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize