ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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