I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
