Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Randomize
