What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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