Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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