How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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