I'm drive I can fine osifer
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
