I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize