But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
