All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I have feelings that need drinking.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
