then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize