Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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