Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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