Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
