what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My vagina just recognized that song.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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