We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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