so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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