Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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