Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
