I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
