He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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