evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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