Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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