I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My ass is underappreciated
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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