I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
