Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
