Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Randomize
