Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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