i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
